”I Can’t Say ‘May I Please!’”

My wife and I had greatly enjoyed the day with two of our grandchildren. In the afternoon, we had taken them to a nature center. The previous Sunday, 2000 plastic eggs had been scattered on a wooded trail for an adult’s nighttime hunt. We had seen many leftover eggs earlier in the week, and thought we’d do the rangers a favor in cleaning up the trail.

The children loved it, finding not only eggs, but smoky quartz, psychedelic ovoid mushrooms, and a globose dome snail. And they were rewarded by a park ranger for their cache of returned eggs with a choice of stickers. One eagerly selected a 2″ Cosmos decal.

Now we were returning from an evening church event where the children had participated in games, carrying home small bags of prizes from their victories. But then the one child shared his sorrowful moment. His sister had seen his special cosmos decal on the floor, which had fallen from his pocket, and gave it away, despite his protests.

Seeking sibling reconciliation, we instructed the sister to ask forgiveness, and allow her brother to select a prize from her bag in restitution. I have never seen a child turn to stone so quickly. Even with pulling the car to the side of the road, to be more direct with what she had done, and the appropriate response, she was unfazed, not a facial muscle moving.

Jesus famously said:

Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? — Luke 14:31

Fortunately, I assessed I had the time and strength to take on this wrestling match with a five-year-old. So arriving at the house, I sat with her in my office, while her brother played in the other room, asking questions, waiting in silence, and sharing stories to help turn from her obstinacy to humbling her little soul.

One story I shared was when her uncle was a boy. At the breakfast table he asked for milk, to which we responded, “May I, please have some milk.” No big deal, right? What followed was an hour alteration with my son, also about five, digging in his heels and refusing to comply. The memorable moment of that painfully long interaction was him shouting at one point: ”I CAN’T SAY, ‘MAY I PLEASE!’”

As I sat with my grandchild that evening, I started pulling on a thread… my grandchild, my child, me…. Surely, not me.

I remember being in a seminar listening to someone share about photo-safe paper. I said to my wife: “I’ve never heard of that. It can’t be real.” And then there was the time I was so angry with my friend for inaccurately recounting an event in which we were both involved. He got it all wrong! I was incensed that he would blatantly LIE! Quite some time later, I came across evidence that validated his recollection of the event was accurate and mine was wrong. How could that be???

I have been repeatedly directed by people, and God, in the good and right way to go. And have too often reacted with the same stony expression my grandchild was now displaying towards her Papa.

It made me reflect on another Father-Son conversation. This one was not about saying “Please pass the milk,” or “Would you forgive me?” This one was, “You have to drink the cup of my wrath.” It was not a punishment. It was not even the will of the Father being imposed on the Son. From eternity, the triune Godhead had planned for the redemption of mankind through the sacrifice of the Son. Jesus was clear throughout his ministry that this was the purpose for which he came to earth.

But now, in Gethsemane, staring into that cup, seeing close and personal what it would entail, the Son of God was profoundly shaken. At no point in his earthly ministry did Jesus so much as twitch a facial muscle, whether confronting the ruling powers of the day, being asleep in a life-threatening storm, commanding maniacal demons, or facing a crowd picking up stones to execute him.

But now…. this was different.

And his plea to the Father was plaintive:

Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. — Mark 14:36

What the Father was requiring of the Son was good, but hard. Unfathomably hard. And unlike my response to good things asked of me that are ridiculously easy, Jesus’ response to his Father was not a stony face, but:

Yet not what I will, but what you will. — John 14:36

After a persistent, long-suffering hour, my grandchild did turn to get reconciled with her brother. Her entire demeanor and relationship changed in moments. I thanked God for his patience with me. And I thanked him for saying “Yes” to the Father, that I, and others, might know reconciliation and transformation.